Saturday, April 17, 2010

Darkness

Dear Lord,

These couple of months have been nothing but darkness for me at work. I had always ask You "Why me?", hoping for an answer. There were times of tears, anger, rejection. These led me to stupid thoughts of depression, suicide, or just running away.

I told myself "Perhaps this is my cross during Lent period, and after this it will be ok". Well, just couple of days ago, I was hit with another round of bad news. I'm so tired Lord, so tired. What is in store for me? What is the lesson to learn? I'm so confused.

Sometimes I will say to You that I will take up this as a passage of my journey, but the mind can be so weak at times! Halfway through, i feel like giving up. My faith, my flame, is it still burning? It is like a lit candle out in the open - subject to the wind, the rain. It can be extinguished anytime now.

God, I always give praise for the good things that happened in my life. I now pray for guidance in times of bad. I thank you for letting me this path, as I try to mold and transform into a different being. Add value? Perhaps. But as I walk to this journey, Lord, please protect this fragile little candle from being extinguished. Thank you Lord for listening to my prayer.

Amen.


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